Genesis 9
[1] And God blessed Noah and his sons, and said unto them, Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth.
[2] And the fear of you and the dread of you shall be upon every beast of the earth, and upon every fowl of the air, upon all that moveth upon the earth, and upon all the fishes of the sea; into your hand are they delivered.
[3] Every moving thing that liveth shall be meat for you; even as the green herb have I given you all things.
[4] But flesh with the life thereof, which is the blood thereof, shall ye not eat.
[5] And surely your blood of your lives will I require; at the hand of every beast will I require it, and at the hand of man; at the hand of every man's brother will I require the life of man.
[6] Whoso sheddeth man's blood, by man shall his blood be shed: for in the image of God made he man.
[7] And you, be ye fruitful, and multiply; bring forth abundantly in the earth, and multiply therein.
[8] And God spake unto Noah, and to his sons with him, saying,
[9] And I, behold, I establish my covenant with you, and with your seed after you;
[10] And with every living creature that is with you, of the fowl, of the cattle, and of every beast of the earth with you; from all that go out of the ark, to every beast of the earth.
[11] And I will establish my covenant with you; neither shall all flesh be cut off any more by the waters of a flood; neither shall there any more be a flood to destroy the earth.
[12] And God said, This is the token of the covenant which I make between me and you and every living creature that is with you, for perpetual generations:
[13] I do set my bow in the cloud, and it shall be for a token of a covenant between me and the earth.
[14] And it shall come to pass, when I bring a cloud over the earth, that the bow shall be seen in the cloud:
[15] And I will remember my covenant, which is between me and you and every living creature of all flesh; and the waters shall no more become a flood to destroy all flesh.
[16] And the bow shall be in the cloud; and I will look upon it, that I may remember the everlasting covenant between God and every living creature of all flesh that is upon the earth.
[17] And God said unto Noah, This is the token of the covenant, which I have established between me and all flesh that is upon the earth.
[18] And the sons of Noah, that went forth of the ark, were Shem, and Ham, and Japheth: and Ham is the father of Canaan.
[19] These are the three sons of Noah: and of them was the whole earth overspread.
[20] And Noah began to be an husbandman, and he planted a vineyard:
[21] And he drank of the wine, and was drunken; and he was uncovered within his tent.
[22] And Ham, the father of Canaan, saw the nakedness of his father, and told his two brethren without.
[23] And Shem and Japheth took a garment, and laid it upon both their shoulders, and went backward, and covered the nakedness of their father; and their faces were backward, and they saw not their father's nakedness.
[24] And Noah awoke from his wine, and knew what his younger son had done unto him.
[25] And he said, Cursed be Canaan; a servant of servants shall he be unto his brethren.
[26] And he said, Blessed be the LORD God of Shem; and Canaan shall be his servant.
[27] God shall enlarge Japheth, and he shall dwell in the tents of Shem; and Canaan shall be his servant.
[28] And Noah lived after the flood three hundred and fifty years.
[29] And all the days of Noah were nine hundred and fifty years: and he died.
_____________________
Noah and his sons (the wives didn't matter) receive the command to re-populate the planet. According to a literal translation of the Bible, every person on the planet descends from Noah's family. The human genome project does not concur.
God encourages the eating of meat at a time when animals good for food need to replenish their numbers. Never mind the predator-prey relationships that would have made herding animals extinct, followed by their predators. Ken Ham tells us that the predators were scavengers after the flood, consuming the corpses left behind by the flood, but as was pointed out in a previous post, any bodies would have skeletonized well before a year.
There's some nonsense about shedding blood at the hands of men and beasts, but then we get into the real craziness: God gives a speech about how he's never going to flood the Earth again, then talks about putting his bow in the sky. This story is a rather fantastical and farcical way of explaining rainbows. Obviously, the author of Genesis knew nothing about light refraction. The only explanation an apologist might try in this case would be to offer that light refraction didn't exist until that time, which is not only absurd, but also unsupported by any evidence--and contradicted by other evidence, such as the evolution of the eye and nervous system to correct for light refraction.
Finally, we get to this story about how Noah's youngest son gets punished for seeing his father passed out from being drunk. There is no explanation regarding why this is such a grievous sin, the son and his descendants are condemned to being the servants of the descendants of the older brothers.
In summary, the story of Noah is full of holes. It is inconsistent with reality, and ultimately, unnecessary, given that it turned out to be futile. We have also learned that Old Testament punishments are unnecessarily harsh and, inexplicably, inheritable.
Thursday, April 3, 2014
Genesis 8
[1] And God remembered Noah, and every living thing, and all the cattle that was with him in the ark: and God made a wind to pass over the earth, and the waters asswaged;
[2] The fountains also of the deep and the windows of heaven were stopped, and the rain from heaven was restrained;
[3] And the waters returned from off the earth continually: and after the end of the hundred and fifty days the waters were abated.
[4] And the ark rested in the seventh month, on the seventeenth day of the month, upon the mountains of Ararat.
[5] And the waters decreased continually until the tenth month: in the tenth month, on the first day of the month, were the tops of the mountains seen.
[6] And it came to pass at the end of forty days, that Noah opened the window of the ark which he had made:
[7] And he sent forth a raven, which went forth to and fro, until the waters were dried up from off the earth.
[8] Also he sent forth a dove from him, to see if the waters were abated from off the face of the ground;
[9] But the dove found no rest for the sole of her foot, and she returned unto him into the ark, for the waters were on the face of the whole earth: then he put forth his hand, and took her, and pulled her in unto him into the ark.
[10] And he stayed yet other seven days; and again he sent forth the dove out of the ark;
[11] And the dove came in to him in the evening; and, lo, in her mouth was an olive leaf pluckt off: so Noah knew that the waters were abated from off the earth.
[12] And he stayed yet other seven days; and sent forth the dove; which returned not again unto him any more.
[13] And it came to pass in the six hundredth and first year, in the first month, the first day of the month, the waters were dried up from off the earth: and Noah removed the covering of the ark, and looked, and, behold, the face of the ground was dry.
[14] And in the second month, on the seven and twentieth day of the month, was the earth dried.
[15] And God spake unto Noah, saying,
[16] Go forth of the ark, thou, and thy wife, and thy sons, and thy sons' wives with thee.
[17] Bring forth with thee every living thing that is with thee, of all flesh, both of fowl, and of cattle, and of every creeping thing that creepeth upon the earth; that they may breed abundantly in the earth, and be fruitful, and multiply upon the earth.
[18] And Noah went forth, and his sons, and his wife, and his sons' wives with him:
[19] Every beast, every creeping thing, and every fowl, and whatsoever creepeth upon the earth, after their kinds, went forth out of the ark.
[20] And Noah builded an altar unto the LORD; and took of every clean beast, and of every clean fowl, and offered burnt offerings on the altar.
[21] And the LORD smelled a sweet savour; and the LORD said in his heart, I will not again curse the ground any more for man's sake; for the imagination of man's heart is evil from his youth; neither will I again smite any more every thing living, as I have done.
[22] While the earth remaineth, seedtime and harvest, and cold and heat, and summer and winter, and day and night shall not cease.
------------------------------
The first few verses of this chapter make it clear that the author believed the Earth to be flat. It talks about a wind blowing the water off the edge of the Earth--that's a flat Earth.
Seven months after the rain stopped, the ark gets stuck on the mountains. This is terribly inconvenient, since the water certainly would not have been still, and the boat would have been torn to shreds because of the waves. Let's just say, for the sake of argument, that the ark came to rest on already-exposed mountains. I suppose.
But wait! The next few verses talk about how it took three additional months for the tops of the mountains to show. The ship would have been shredded. No doubt. The moon didn't go away. There is no way the water would have been still. This story already has so many holes, it's about as believable as the Santa Clause myth, but this part of the story just flies in the face of common sense.
I'm sure there was some significance to the dove finding the olive leaf instead of the raven, but it's really not relevant to whether or not the Bible is accurate (it should be obvious by now that a literal interpretation is most certainly not accurate). What is relevant is the notion that after ten months under water, an olive leaf is available for a dove to pluck off of the tree. Leaves take six months to decompose under normal conditions. An interesting experiment would be to submerge an olive tree and see how long it takes to die and decompose.
Noah, his family, and all of the animals leave the ark, and somehow, every species migrates to every part of the world from there. Noah makes burnt offerings of representatives of species that have been decimated by the flood. Seems a bit irresponsible, but the smell of it pleases God so much, he decides that even though man is wicked from an early age (allegedly), he will not destroy every living creature ever again. So...killing every person except the righteous Noah didn't get rid of evil in human beings, making the flood completely futile and stupid. Why save Noah and his family if evil lived on in his descendants?
[2] The fountains also of the deep and the windows of heaven were stopped, and the rain from heaven was restrained;
[3] And the waters returned from off the earth continually: and after the end of the hundred and fifty days the waters were abated.
[4] And the ark rested in the seventh month, on the seventeenth day of the month, upon the mountains of Ararat.
[5] And the waters decreased continually until the tenth month: in the tenth month, on the first day of the month, were the tops of the mountains seen.
[6] And it came to pass at the end of forty days, that Noah opened the window of the ark which he had made:
[7] And he sent forth a raven, which went forth to and fro, until the waters were dried up from off the earth.
[8] Also he sent forth a dove from him, to see if the waters were abated from off the face of the ground;
[9] But the dove found no rest for the sole of her foot, and she returned unto him into the ark, for the waters were on the face of the whole earth: then he put forth his hand, and took her, and pulled her in unto him into the ark.
[10] And he stayed yet other seven days; and again he sent forth the dove out of the ark;
[11] And the dove came in to him in the evening; and, lo, in her mouth was an olive leaf pluckt off: so Noah knew that the waters were abated from off the earth.
[12] And he stayed yet other seven days; and sent forth the dove; which returned not again unto him any more.
[13] And it came to pass in the six hundredth and first year, in the first month, the first day of the month, the waters were dried up from off the earth: and Noah removed the covering of the ark, and looked, and, behold, the face of the ground was dry.
[14] And in the second month, on the seven and twentieth day of the month, was the earth dried.
[15] And God spake unto Noah, saying,
[16] Go forth of the ark, thou, and thy wife, and thy sons, and thy sons' wives with thee.
[17] Bring forth with thee every living thing that is with thee, of all flesh, both of fowl, and of cattle, and of every creeping thing that creepeth upon the earth; that they may breed abundantly in the earth, and be fruitful, and multiply upon the earth.
[18] And Noah went forth, and his sons, and his wife, and his sons' wives with him:
[19] Every beast, every creeping thing, and every fowl, and whatsoever creepeth upon the earth, after their kinds, went forth out of the ark.
[20] And Noah builded an altar unto the LORD; and took of every clean beast, and of every clean fowl, and offered burnt offerings on the altar.
[21] And the LORD smelled a sweet savour; and the LORD said in his heart, I will not again curse the ground any more for man's sake; for the imagination of man's heart is evil from his youth; neither will I again smite any more every thing living, as I have done.
[22] While the earth remaineth, seedtime and harvest, and cold and heat, and summer and winter, and day and night shall not cease.
------------------------------
The first few verses of this chapter make it clear that the author believed the Earth to be flat. It talks about a wind blowing the water off the edge of the Earth--that's a flat Earth.
Seven months after the rain stopped, the ark gets stuck on the mountains. This is terribly inconvenient, since the water certainly would not have been still, and the boat would have been torn to shreds because of the waves. Let's just say, for the sake of argument, that the ark came to rest on already-exposed mountains. I suppose.
But wait! The next few verses talk about how it took three additional months for the tops of the mountains to show. The ship would have been shredded. No doubt. The moon didn't go away. There is no way the water would have been still. This story already has so many holes, it's about as believable as the Santa Clause myth, but this part of the story just flies in the face of common sense.
I'm sure there was some significance to the dove finding the olive leaf instead of the raven, but it's really not relevant to whether or not the Bible is accurate (it should be obvious by now that a literal interpretation is most certainly not accurate). What is relevant is the notion that after ten months under water, an olive leaf is available for a dove to pluck off of the tree. Leaves take six months to decompose under normal conditions. An interesting experiment would be to submerge an olive tree and see how long it takes to die and decompose.
Noah, his family, and all of the animals leave the ark, and somehow, every species migrates to every part of the world from there. Noah makes burnt offerings of representatives of species that have been decimated by the flood. Seems a bit irresponsible, but the smell of it pleases God so much, he decides that even though man is wicked from an early age (allegedly), he will not destroy every living creature ever again. So...killing every person except the righteous Noah didn't get rid of evil in human beings, making the flood completely futile and stupid. Why save Noah and his family if evil lived on in his descendants?
Wednesday, March 26, 2014
Genesis 7
[1] And the LORD said unto Noah, Come thou and all thy house into the ark; for thee have I seen righteous before me in this generation.
[2] Of every clean beast thou shalt take to thee by sevens, the male and his female: and of beasts that are not clean by two, the male and his female.
[3] Of fowls also of the air by sevens, the male and the female; to keep seed alive upon the face of all the earth.
[4] For yet seven days, and I will cause it to rain upon the earth forty days and forty nights; and every living substance that I have made will I destroy from off the face of the earth.
[5] And Noah did according unto all that the LORD commanded him.
[6] And Noah was six hundred years old when the flood of waters was upon the earth.
[7] And Noah went in, and his sons, and his wife, and his sons' wives with him, into the ark, because of the waters of the flood.
[8] Of clean beasts, and of beasts that are not clean, and of fowls, and of every thing that creepeth upon the earth,
[9] There went in two and two unto Noah into the ark, the male and the female, as God had commanded Noah.
[10] And it came to pass after seven days, that the waters of the flood were upon the earth.
[11] In the six hundredth year of Noah's life, in the second month, the seventeenth day of the month, the same day were all the fountains of the great deep broken up, and the windows of heaven were opened.
[12] And the rain was upon the earth forty days and forty nights.
[13] In the selfsame day entered Noah, and Shem, and Ham, and Japheth, the sons of Noah, and Noah's wife, and the three wives of his sons with them, into the ark;
[14] They, and every beast after his kind, and all the cattle after their kind, and every creeping thing that creepeth upon the earth after his kind, and every fowl after his kind, every bird of every sort.
[15] And they went in unto Noah into the ark, two and two of all flesh, wherein is the breath of life.
[16] And they that went in, went in male and female of all flesh, as God had commanded him: and the LORD shut him in.
[17] And the flood was forty days upon the earth; and the waters increased, and bare up the ark, and it was lift up above the earth.
[18] And the waters prevailed, and were increased greatly upon the earth; and the ark went upon the face of the waters.
[19] And the waters prevailed exceedingly upon the earth; and all the high hills, that were under the whole heaven, were covered.
[20] Fifteen cubits upward did the waters prevail; and the mountains were covered.
[21] And all flesh died that moved upon the earth, both of fowl, and of cattle, and of beast, and of every creeping thing that creepeth upon the earth, and every man:
[22] All in whose nostrils was the breath of life, of all that was in the dry land, died.
[23] And every living substance was destroyed which was upon the face of the ground, both man, and cattle, and the creeping things, and the fowl of the heaven; and they were destroyed from the earth: and Noah only remained alive, and they that were with him in the ark.
[24] And the waters prevailed upon the earth an hundred and fifty days.
___________________________________
I'm going to gloss over the "clean beasts" part. What constitutes "clean" and "unclean" comes later, in Leviticus.
First, let's focus on the animals on the ark. Ken Ham, who recently debated Bill Nye on national television, has an article posted on his Answers in Genesis site regarding how the animals fit on the ark. It's relevant here to go through his article, which is a best-case scenario, and see where the problems in it lie. We could go with reality all day and point out that the fossil record shows every indication that life now is pretty similar to life when the flood allegedly happened (with several extinctions), and we can point out that we find actual bones--actual DNA--from animals living at that time, rather than fossilized remains, because the replacement of bone with minerals takes much longer than a few thousand years. However, since Ken Ham would like his views taught in our schools, and he certainly approves of home-schoolers teaching it to their children, not to mention he gives seminars on it himself and has even set up creation museums to misinform the public, we'll go with his story and shoot it full of holes.
The AIG site ( http://www.answersingenesis.org/articles/nab3/how-could-animals-fit-on-ark ) begins with the notion that only "landbreathing vertebrate animals", including "modern birds, mammals, and reptiles" were on the ark. No insects, arachnids, worms, or fish. No plants. No sea-dwelling mammals. No amphibians. Never mind that a global flood would wipe out all of these.
Research creationists call "baraminological" tells them that the animals on the ark numbered 16,000, and were at the "family level" of taxonomy. This notion, of course, is pure speculation, based on no science whatsoever. Species are species, and the big, gaping hole in this argument is that it's supported nowhere in the fossil record. Nowhere does any evidence exist in the geological column to support the notion that 16,000 "created kinds" existed at the same time, and nothing else. There is no major extinction event at the time the flood supposedly happened, either.
The space required for all of the animals, along with their food requirements, waste disposal, and ventilation are all the subject of Ken Ham's speculation--and that's just it. Ken Ham is speculating. Until he can build a working, floating model of an ark, this boat doesn't float, literally or proverbially. Until he can find evidence to support his claim that everything was wiped out at once except for 16,000 (approximately) creatures (8000 species, not counting the "clean beasts"). The article contains no evidence, but a lot of "could haves" and "might haves". It's a pure guess.
So the animals are on the ark in our myth, along with Noah and his family. Noah is 600 years old (!). Apparently, in all that time, he only had three sons, and the Bible does not mention any other generations of children, so we can only speculate whether the descendants of Noah living at the time, if any, were killed in the flood.
The rain begins, and it doesn't stop for forty days and forty nights. In that time--according to biblical literalists--it covers the entire planet, to a depth greater than the highest mountain (Everest). The amount of rain that had to fall in order for the entire Earth to be covered would have required a downpour equivalent water pressure mining pick, and would have destroyed the ark, assuming, of course, that a wooden boat of its dimensions could float at all, which it wouldn't.
The flood myth isn't over at this point, but since I mentioned Ken Ham's article, I should note that he believes that meat eaters would have eaten the corpses of all the animals that died in the flood. Apparently, nobody has shown him what happens to a corpse that remains in water for too long. Here is a great article that effectively debunks that notion:http://www.scientificamerican.com/blog/post/how-long-do-dead-bodies-remain-inta-2009-06-10/?id=how-long-do-dead-bodies-remain-inta-2009-06-10
It's crazy to believe that there would be any meat left after 190 days (40 for the rain and 150 additional days that the water prevailed on the earth before the waters receded--where to is anyone's guess).
[2] Of every clean beast thou shalt take to thee by sevens, the male and his female: and of beasts that are not clean by two, the male and his female.
[3] Of fowls also of the air by sevens, the male and the female; to keep seed alive upon the face of all the earth.
[4] For yet seven days, and I will cause it to rain upon the earth forty days and forty nights; and every living substance that I have made will I destroy from off the face of the earth.
[5] And Noah did according unto all that the LORD commanded him.
[6] And Noah was six hundred years old when the flood of waters was upon the earth.
[7] And Noah went in, and his sons, and his wife, and his sons' wives with him, into the ark, because of the waters of the flood.
[8] Of clean beasts, and of beasts that are not clean, and of fowls, and of every thing that creepeth upon the earth,
[9] There went in two and two unto Noah into the ark, the male and the female, as God had commanded Noah.
[10] And it came to pass after seven days, that the waters of the flood were upon the earth.
[11] In the six hundredth year of Noah's life, in the second month, the seventeenth day of the month, the same day were all the fountains of the great deep broken up, and the windows of heaven were opened.
[12] And the rain was upon the earth forty days and forty nights.
[13] In the selfsame day entered Noah, and Shem, and Ham, and Japheth, the sons of Noah, and Noah's wife, and the three wives of his sons with them, into the ark;
[14] They, and every beast after his kind, and all the cattle after their kind, and every creeping thing that creepeth upon the earth after his kind, and every fowl after his kind, every bird of every sort.
[15] And they went in unto Noah into the ark, two and two of all flesh, wherein is the breath of life.
[16] And they that went in, went in male and female of all flesh, as God had commanded him: and the LORD shut him in.
[17] And the flood was forty days upon the earth; and the waters increased, and bare up the ark, and it was lift up above the earth.
[18] And the waters prevailed, and were increased greatly upon the earth; and the ark went upon the face of the waters.
[19] And the waters prevailed exceedingly upon the earth; and all the high hills, that were under the whole heaven, were covered.
[20] Fifteen cubits upward did the waters prevail; and the mountains were covered.
[21] And all flesh died that moved upon the earth, both of fowl, and of cattle, and of beast, and of every creeping thing that creepeth upon the earth, and every man:
[22] All in whose nostrils was the breath of life, of all that was in the dry land, died.
[23] And every living substance was destroyed which was upon the face of the ground, both man, and cattle, and the creeping things, and the fowl of the heaven; and they were destroyed from the earth: and Noah only remained alive, and they that were with him in the ark.
[24] And the waters prevailed upon the earth an hundred and fifty days.
___________________________________
I'm going to gloss over the "clean beasts" part. What constitutes "clean" and "unclean" comes later, in Leviticus.
First, let's focus on the animals on the ark. Ken Ham, who recently debated Bill Nye on national television, has an article posted on his Answers in Genesis site regarding how the animals fit on the ark. It's relevant here to go through his article, which is a best-case scenario, and see where the problems in it lie. We could go with reality all day and point out that the fossil record shows every indication that life now is pretty similar to life when the flood allegedly happened (with several extinctions), and we can point out that we find actual bones--actual DNA--from animals living at that time, rather than fossilized remains, because the replacement of bone with minerals takes much longer than a few thousand years. However, since Ken Ham would like his views taught in our schools, and he certainly approves of home-schoolers teaching it to their children, not to mention he gives seminars on it himself and has even set up creation museums to misinform the public, we'll go with his story and shoot it full of holes.
The AIG site ( http://www.answersingenesis.org/articles/nab3/how-could-animals-fit-on-ark ) begins with the notion that only "landbreathing vertebrate animals", including "modern birds, mammals, and reptiles" were on the ark. No insects, arachnids, worms, or fish. No plants. No sea-dwelling mammals. No amphibians. Never mind that a global flood would wipe out all of these.
Research creationists call "baraminological" tells them that the animals on the ark numbered 16,000, and were at the "family level" of taxonomy. This notion, of course, is pure speculation, based on no science whatsoever. Species are species, and the big, gaping hole in this argument is that it's supported nowhere in the fossil record. Nowhere does any evidence exist in the geological column to support the notion that 16,000 "created kinds" existed at the same time, and nothing else. There is no major extinction event at the time the flood supposedly happened, either.
The space required for all of the animals, along with their food requirements, waste disposal, and ventilation are all the subject of Ken Ham's speculation--and that's just it. Ken Ham is speculating. Until he can build a working, floating model of an ark, this boat doesn't float, literally or proverbially. Until he can find evidence to support his claim that everything was wiped out at once except for 16,000 (approximately) creatures (8000 species, not counting the "clean beasts"). The article contains no evidence, but a lot of "could haves" and "might haves". It's a pure guess.
So the animals are on the ark in our myth, along with Noah and his family. Noah is 600 years old (!). Apparently, in all that time, he only had three sons, and the Bible does not mention any other generations of children, so we can only speculate whether the descendants of Noah living at the time, if any, were killed in the flood.
The rain begins, and it doesn't stop for forty days and forty nights. In that time--according to biblical literalists--it covers the entire planet, to a depth greater than the highest mountain (Everest). The amount of rain that had to fall in order for the entire Earth to be covered would have required a downpour equivalent water pressure mining pick, and would have destroyed the ark, assuming, of course, that a wooden boat of its dimensions could float at all, which it wouldn't.
The flood myth isn't over at this point, but since I mentioned Ken Ham's article, I should note that he believes that meat eaters would have eaten the corpses of all the animals that died in the flood. Apparently, nobody has shown him what happens to a corpse that remains in water for too long. Here is a great article that effectively debunks that notion:http://www.scientificamerican.com/blog/post/how-long-do-dead-bodies-remain-inta-2009-06-10/?id=how-long-do-dead-bodies-remain-inta-2009-06-10
It's crazy to believe that there would be any meat left after 190 days (40 for the rain and 150 additional days that the water prevailed on the earth before the waters receded--where to is anyone's guess).
Monday, March 24, 2014
Genesis 6
[1] And it came to pass, when men began to multiply on the face of the earth, and daughters were born unto them,
[2] That the sons of God saw the daughters of men that they were fair; and they took them wives of all which they chose.
[3] And the LORD said, My spirit shall not always strive with man, for that he also is flesh: yet his days shall be an hundred and twenty years.
[4] There were giants in the earth in those days; and also after that, when the sons of God came in unto the daughters of men, and they bare children to them, the same became mighty men which were of old, men of renown.
[5] And GOD saw that the wickedness of man was great in the earth, and that every imagination of the thoughts of his heart was only evil continually.
[6] And it repented the LORD that he had made man on the earth, and it grieved him at his heart.
[7] And the LORD said, I will destroy man whom I have created from the face of the earth; both man, and beast, and the creeping thing, and the fowls of the air; for it repenteth me that I have made them.
[8] But Noah found grace in the eyes of the LORD.
[9] These are the generations of Noah: Noah was a just man and perfect in his generations, and Noah walked with God.
[10] And Noah begat three sons, Shem, Ham, and Japheth.
[11] The earth also was corrupt before God, and the earth was filled with violence.
[12] And God looked upon the earth, and, behold, it was corrupt; for all flesh had corrupted his way upon the earth.
[13] And God said unto Noah, The end of all flesh is come before me; for the earth is filled with violence through them; and, behold, I will destroy them with the earth.
[14] Make thee an ark of gopher wood; rooms shalt thou make in the ark, and shalt pitch it within and without with pitch.
[15] And this is the fashion which thou shalt make it of: The length of the ark shall be three hundred cubits, the breadth of it fifty cubits, and the height of it thirty cubits.
[16] A window shalt thou make to the ark, and in a cubit shalt thou finish it above; and the door of the ark shalt thou set in the side thereof; with lower, second, and third stories shalt thou make it.
[17] And, behold, I, even I, do bring a flood of waters upon the earth, to destroy all flesh, wherein is the breath of life, from under heaven; and every thing that is in the earth shall die.
[18] But with thee will I establish my covenant; and thou shalt come into the ark, thou, and thy sons, and thy wife, and thy sons' wives with thee.
[19] And of every living thing of all flesh, two of every sort shalt thou bring into the ark, to keep them alive with thee; they shall be male and female.
[20] Of fowls after their kind, and of cattle after their kind, of every creeping thing of the earth after his kind, two of every sort shall come unto thee, to keep them alive.
[21] And take thou unto thee of all food that is eaten, and thou shalt gather it to thee; and it shall be for food for thee, and for them.
[22] Thus did Noah; according to all that God commanded him, so did he.
[2] That the sons of God saw the daughters of men that they were fair; and they took them wives of all which they chose.
[3] And the LORD said, My spirit shall not always strive with man, for that he also is flesh: yet his days shall be an hundred and twenty years.
[4] There were giants in the earth in those days; and also after that, when the sons of God came in unto the daughters of men, and they bare children to them, the same became mighty men which were of old, men of renown.
[5] And GOD saw that the wickedness of man was great in the earth, and that every imagination of the thoughts of his heart was only evil continually.
[6] And it repented the LORD that he had made man on the earth, and it grieved him at his heart.
[7] And the LORD said, I will destroy man whom I have created from the face of the earth; both man, and beast, and the creeping thing, and the fowls of the air; for it repenteth me that I have made them.
[8] But Noah found grace in the eyes of the LORD.
[9] These are the generations of Noah: Noah was a just man and perfect in his generations, and Noah walked with God.
[10] And Noah begat three sons, Shem, Ham, and Japheth.
[11] The earth also was corrupt before God, and the earth was filled with violence.
[12] And God looked upon the earth, and, behold, it was corrupt; for all flesh had corrupted his way upon the earth.
[13] And God said unto Noah, The end of all flesh is come before me; for the earth is filled with violence through them; and, behold, I will destroy them with the earth.
[14] Make thee an ark of gopher wood; rooms shalt thou make in the ark, and shalt pitch it within and without with pitch.
[15] And this is the fashion which thou shalt make it of: The length of the ark shall be three hundred cubits, the breadth of it fifty cubits, and the height of it thirty cubits.
[16] A window shalt thou make to the ark, and in a cubit shalt thou finish it above; and the door of the ark shalt thou set in the side thereof; with lower, second, and third stories shalt thou make it.
[17] And, behold, I, even I, do bring a flood of waters upon the earth, to destroy all flesh, wherein is the breath of life, from under heaven; and every thing that is in the earth shall die.
[18] But with thee will I establish my covenant; and thou shalt come into the ark, thou, and thy sons, and thy wife, and thy sons' wives with thee.
[19] And of every living thing of all flesh, two of every sort shalt thou bring into the ark, to keep them alive with thee; they shall be male and female.
[20] Of fowls after their kind, and of cattle after their kind, of every creeping thing of the earth after his kind, two of every sort shall come unto thee, to keep them alive.
[21] And take thou unto thee of all food that is eaten, and thou shalt gather it to thee; and it shall be for food for thee, and for them.
[22] Thus did Noah; according to all that God commanded him, so did he.
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So men had daughters, and the "sons of God" saw them as far and took them as wives. Who are these "sons of God"? There are different interpretations, but it doesn't really matter, because allegedly, they all die later. This chapter also mentions giants and men of renown. It doesn't name any of them, so as renowned as they might be at some point, they certainly aren't remembered in the Bible.
What comes next doesn't make much sense. Apparently, God sees that all men (except Noah, who is coming next) are wicked, and that they always have wicked thoughts...but for some reason, he decided he wants to kill not only men, but everything else. Why not kill only men? In any case, the nonsense in this passage reeks of the nonsense spewed by the likes of Pat Robertson, the late Jerry Falwell, and other fundamentalists who attribute hurricanes and all sorts of other natural occurrences to things like homosexuality and other perceived "sins" and acceptance/tolarance of "sin". The earth is "corrupt" because of the "wickedness" of man.
But Noah was different, apparently--he and his three sons. Since Noah is just fine with God, God tells him to build an ark. Now this is where things get embarrassing. Dimensions are given for this boat made of "gopher wood". These dimensions are for a wooden boat that will not float. Wooden boats over a certain length need to be reinforced with steel, or their hulls with crack. Expert shipwrights have tried it. Boats over 250' have to be reinforced with steel to be seaworthy.
Before we get into more holes in the flood story, why a flood? This chapter makes clear that the wickedness of men corrupted the earth itself, so the earth had to be washed clean...but this notion is purely nonsensical. How can people sinning corrupt inorganic matter? It's clearly a pre-scientific notion.
Anyway, Noah needs to bring animals onto the ark, plus food to keep them alive. As the video from DarkMater2525 demonstrates, keeping that much food on board the ship presents problems, not only because of cargo space, but because of dietary restrictions. Adaptations in species make it difficult to digest all but a few types of food. Not to mention the fact that all aquatic life would have trouble with the pH changes and temperature changes. Plant life would cease to exist without adequate sunlight for 40 days, plus the water would suffocate any plants that weren't aquatic, because they could not get carbon dioxide for respiration. No food would exist for animals to eat after the flood.
This story was certainly written by someone with a narrow view of the world, with a limited idea about how many species existed on the planet at the time. It is inconsistent with reality, and is about as believable in its literal interpretation as the story of Santa Clause traversing the world in a single night, pulled by reindeer, with a sack full of presents for every good girl and boy. It's ridiculous on its face.
Genesis 5
[1] This is the book of the generations of Adam. In the day that God created man, in the likeness of God made he him;
[2] Male and female created he them; and blessed them, and called their name Adam, in the day when they were created.
[3] And Adam lived an hundred and thirty years, and begat a son in his own likeness, after his image; and called his name Seth:
[4] And the days of Adam after he had begotten Seth were eight hundred years: and he begat sons and daughters:
[5] And all the days that Adam lived were nine hundred and thirty years: and he died.
[6] And Seth lived an hundred and five years, and begat Enos:
[7] And Seth lived after he begat Enos eight hundred and seven years, and begat sons and daughters:
[8] And all the days of Seth were nine hundred and twelve years: and he died.
[9] And Enos lived ninety years, and begat Cainan:
[10] And Enos lived after he begat Cainan eight hundred and fifteen years, and begat sons and daughters:
[11] And all the days of Enos were nine hundred and five years: and he died.
[12] And Cainan lived seventy years, and begat Mahalaleel:
[13] And Cainan lived after he begat Mahalaleel eight hundred and forty years, and begat sons and daughters:
[14] And all the days of Cainan were nine hundred and ten years: and he died.
[15] And Mahalaleel lived sixty and five years, and begat Jared:
[16] And Mahalaleel lived after he begat Jared eight hundred and thirty years, and begat sons and daughters:
[17] And all the days of Mahalaleel were eight hundred ninety and five years: and he died.
[18] And Jared lived an hundred sixty and two years, and he begat Enoch:
[19] And Jared lived after he begat Enoch eight hundred years, and begat sons and daughters:
[20] And all the days of Jared were nine hundred sixty and two years: and he died.
[21] And Enoch lived sixty and five years, and begat Methuselah:
[22] And Enoch walked with God after he begat Methuselah three hundred years, and begat sons and daughters:
[23] And all the days of Enoch were three hundred sixty and five years:
[24] And Enoch walked with God: and he was not; for God took him.
[25] And Methuselah lived an hundred eighty and seven years, and begat Lamech:
[26] And Methuselah lived after he begat Lamech seven hundred eighty and two years, and begat sons and daughters:
[27] And all the days of Methuselah were nine hundred sixty and nine years: and he died.
[28] And Lamech lived an hundred eighty and two years, and begat a son:
[29] And he called his name Noah, saying, This same shall comfort us concerning our work and toil of our hands, because of the ground which the LORD hath cursed.
[30] And Lamech lived after he begat Noah five hundred ninety and five years, and begat sons and daughters:
[31] And all the days of Lamech were seven hundred seventy and seven years: and he died.
[32] And Noah was five hundred years old: and Noah begat Shem, Ham, and Japheth.
[2] Male and female created he them; and blessed them, and called their name Adam, in the day when they were created.
[3] And Adam lived an hundred and thirty years, and begat a son in his own likeness, after his image; and called his name Seth:
[4] And the days of Adam after he had begotten Seth were eight hundred years: and he begat sons and daughters:
[5] And all the days that Adam lived were nine hundred and thirty years: and he died.
[6] And Seth lived an hundred and five years, and begat Enos:
[7] And Seth lived after he begat Enos eight hundred and seven years, and begat sons and daughters:
[8] And all the days of Seth were nine hundred and twelve years: and he died.
[9] And Enos lived ninety years, and begat Cainan:
[10] And Enos lived after he begat Cainan eight hundred and fifteen years, and begat sons and daughters:
[11] And all the days of Enos were nine hundred and five years: and he died.
[12] And Cainan lived seventy years, and begat Mahalaleel:
[13] And Cainan lived after he begat Mahalaleel eight hundred and forty years, and begat sons and daughters:
[14] And all the days of Cainan were nine hundred and ten years: and he died.
[15] And Mahalaleel lived sixty and five years, and begat Jared:
[16] And Mahalaleel lived after he begat Jared eight hundred and thirty years, and begat sons and daughters:
[17] And all the days of Mahalaleel were eight hundred ninety and five years: and he died.
[18] And Jared lived an hundred sixty and two years, and he begat Enoch:
[19] And Jared lived after he begat Enoch eight hundred years, and begat sons and daughters:
[20] And all the days of Jared were nine hundred sixty and two years: and he died.
[21] And Enoch lived sixty and five years, and begat Methuselah:
[22] And Enoch walked with God after he begat Methuselah three hundred years, and begat sons and daughters:
[23] And all the days of Enoch were three hundred sixty and five years:
[24] And Enoch walked with God: and he was not; for God took him.
[25] And Methuselah lived an hundred eighty and seven years, and begat Lamech:
[26] And Methuselah lived after he begat Lamech seven hundred eighty and two years, and begat sons and daughters:
[27] And all the days of Methuselah were nine hundred sixty and nine years: and he died.
[28] And Lamech lived an hundred eighty and two years, and begat a son:
[29] And he called his name Noah, saying, This same shall comfort us concerning our work and toil of our hands, because of the ground which the LORD hath cursed.
[30] And Lamech lived after he begat Noah five hundred ninety and five years, and begat sons and daughters:
[31] And all the days of Lamech were seven hundred seventy and seven years: and he died.
[32] And Noah was five hundred years old: and Noah begat Shem, Ham, and Japheth.
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The only things interesting about the "begats" in the Bible are the extraordinary ages of the characters, which are unrealistically high, and the timeline they establish for the descendants of Adam.
Nobody seems to know whether the astronomically high ages of these characters are supposed to be literal, or whether they are symbolic, or even mistranslated. Given everything we've read so far about magical trees, talking serpents, and the use of the name of the deity for purposes of magic, not to mention the creation of a woman out of a man's rib and man's creation out of dust, on top of the creation of the universe from divine incantation, I'd have to conclude that they meant these characters lived an extremely long time.
Literalists use these "begats" to establish a timeline for the age of the planet--and, indeed, the universe--and so take the ages in this chapter literally.
Genesis 4
[1] And Adam knew Eve his wife; and she conceived, and bare Cain, and said, I have gotten a man from the LORD.
[2] And she again bare his brother Abel. And Abel was a keeper of sheep, but Cain was a tiller of the ground.
[3] And in process of time it came to pass, that Cain brought of the fruit of the ground an offering unto the LORD.
[4] And Abel, he also brought of the firstlings of his flock and of the fat thereof. And the LORD had respect unto Abel and to his offering:
[5] But unto Cain and to his offering he had not respect. And Cain was very wroth, and his countenance fell.
[6] And the LORD said unto Cain, Why art thou wroth? and why is thy countenance fallen?
[7] If thou doest well, shalt thou not be accepted? and if thou doest not well, sin lieth at the door. And unto thee shall be his desire, and thou shalt rule over him.
[8] And Cain talked with Abel his brother: and it came to pass, when they were in the field, that Cain rose up against Abel his brother, and slew him.
[9] And the LORD said unto Cain, Where is Abel thy brother? And he said, I know not: Am I my brother's keeper?
[10] And he said, What hast thou done? the voice of thy brother's blood crieth unto me from the ground.
[11] And now art thou cursed from the earth, which hath opened her mouth to receive thy brother's blood from thy hand;
[12] When thou tillest the ground, it shall not henceforth yield unto thee her strength; a fugitive and a vagabond shalt thou be in the earth.
[13] And Cain said unto the LORD, My punishment is greater than I can bear.
[14] Behold, thou hast driven me out this day from the face of the earth; and from thy face shall I be hid; and I shall be a fugitive and a vagabond in the earth; and it shall come to pass, that every one that findeth me shall slay me.
[15] And the LORD said unto him, Therefore whosoever slayeth Cain, vengeance shall be taken on him sevenfold. And the LORD set a mark upon Cain, lest any finding him should kill him.
[16] And Cain went out from the presence of the LORD, and dwelt in the land of Nod, on the east of Eden.
[17] And Cain knew his wife; and she conceived, and bare Enoch: and he builded a city, and called the name of the city, after the name of his son, Enoch.
[18] And unto Enoch was born Irad: and Irad begat Mehujael: and Mehujael begat Methusael: and Methusael begat Lamech.
[19] And Lamech took unto him two wives: the name of the one was Adah, and the name of the other Zillah.
[20] And Adah bare Jabal: he was the father of such as dwell in tents, and of such as have cattle.
[21] And his brother's name was Jubal: he was the father of all such as handle the harp and organ.
[22] And Zillah, she also bare Tubal-cain, an instructer of every artificer in brass and iron: and the sister of Tubal-cain was Naamah.
[23] And Lamech said unto his wives, Adah and Zillah, Hear my voice; ye wives of Lamech, hearken unto my speech: for I have slain a man to my wounding, and a young man to my hurt.
[24] If Cain shall be avenged sevenfold, truly Lamech seventy and sevenfold.
[25] And Adam knew his wife again; and she bare a son, and called his name Seth: For God, said she, hath appointed me another seed instead of Abel, whom Cain slew.
[26] And to Seth, to him also there was born a son; and he called his name Enos: then began men to call upon the name of the LORD.
[2] And she again bare his brother Abel. And Abel was a keeper of sheep, but Cain was a tiller of the ground.
[3] And in process of time it came to pass, that Cain brought of the fruit of the ground an offering unto the LORD.
[4] And Abel, he also brought of the firstlings of his flock and of the fat thereof. And the LORD had respect unto Abel and to his offering:
[5] But unto Cain and to his offering he had not respect. And Cain was very wroth, and his countenance fell.
[6] And the LORD said unto Cain, Why art thou wroth? and why is thy countenance fallen?
[7] If thou doest well, shalt thou not be accepted? and if thou doest not well, sin lieth at the door. And unto thee shall be his desire, and thou shalt rule over him.
[8] And Cain talked with Abel his brother: and it came to pass, when they were in the field, that Cain rose up against Abel his brother, and slew him.
[9] And the LORD said unto Cain, Where is Abel thy brother? And he said, I know not: Am I my brother's keeper?
[10] And he said, What hast thou done? the voice of thy brother's blood crieth unto me from the ground.
[11] And now art thou cursed from the earth, which hath opened her mouth to receive thy brother's blood from thy hand;
[12] When thou tillest the ground, it shall not henceforth yield unto thee her strength; a fugitive and a vagabond shalt thou be in the earth.
[13] And Cain said unto the LORD, My punishment is greater than I can bear.
[14] Behold, thou hast driven me out this day from the face of the earth; and from thy face shall I be hid; and I shall be a fugitive and a vagabond in the earth; and it shall come to pass, that every one that findeth me shall slay me.
[15] And the LORD said unto him, Therefore whosoever slayeth Cain, vengeance shall be taken on him sevenfold. And the LORD set a mark upon Cain, lest any finding him should kill him.
[16] And Cain went out from the presence of the LORD, and dwelt in the land of Nod, on the east of Eden.
[17] And Cain knew his wife; and she conceived, and bare Enoch: and he builded a city, and called the name of the city, after the name of his son, Enoch.
[18] And unto Enoch was born Irad: and Irad begat Mehujael: and Mehujael begat Methusael: and Methusael begat Lamech.
[19] And Lamech took unto him two wives: the name of the one was Adah, and the name of the other Zillah.
[20] And Adah bare Jabal: he was the father of such as dwell in tents, and of such as have cattle.
[21] And his brother's name was Jubal: he was the father of all such as handle the harp and organ.
[22] And Zillah, she also bare Tubal-cain, an instructer of every artificer in brass and iron: and the sister of Tubal-cain was Naamah.
[23] And Lamech said unto his wives, Adah and Zillah, Hear my voice; ye wives of Lamech, hearken unto my speech: for I have slain a man to my wounding, and a young man to my hurt.
[24] If Cain shall be avenged sevenfold, truly Lamech seventy and sevenfold.
[25] And Adam knew his wife again; and she bare a son, and called his name Seth: For God, said she, hath appointed me another seed instead of Abel, whom Cain slew.
[26] And to Seth, to him also there was born a son; and he called his name Enos: then began men to call upon the name of the LORD.
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So Adam and Eve finally have sex, and they have two boys. We hear nothing of their childhood. We simply see them as adults. One is a shepherd, the other, a vegetable farmer.
First problem: agriculture is with us from the beginning of humankind--something we know from archaeology to be false.
Second problem: why would the creator of all things need an offering from any human? How does this even make sense? At first glance, it looks like God wants lamb meat and fat over vegetables, but it's really about the quantity or quality of the offering. Cain didn't offer enough or didn't have a good crop. Something. But how did he even learn the skill of farming in the first place? Adam? Anyway, this nonsensical, unnecessary offering to the creator of all things isn't accepted, and because of the rejection, Cain kills his brother. He doesn't work harder or give God more; he kills his brother, because apparently, psychopaths go back to the second generation of humans.
So...God figures out that Cain killed Abel...let's stop right there. Does God have prescience? Can he know the future? By all accounts from believers, yes, he does know the future. He has a "plan". So wouldn't he know that the rejection of Cain's offering would end in fratricide? Anyway, the first murder in the Bible occurs, and God punishes Cain by making him unable to make a living off farming. Cain expresses concern that people will want to kill him. Which people? Adam and Eve? Sounds reasonable, since parents might want to take vengeance where the murder of their offspring is concerned. God puts a mark of protection on Cain, though, so people will see it and know that vengeance will be visited on them sevenfold if they kill Cain. What the hell? I'd say God's against the death penalty, but we will get to parts of the Bible later that contradict this notion, and one of them is in Genesis.
Cain moves out of Eden and into Nod, which apparently has a population, because he had sex with his wife there...unless he took his sister with him. If Adam and Eve were literally the first people on Earth, then Cain would have had to marry his sister; he would have had no choice in the matter. He has a son, then builds and names a city after that son. A city. There are enough people on the planet for maybe a small gathering of huts at this point, and Cain builds a city. Clearly, the ancient Hebrews believed something very different about the population of the Earth than the biblical literalists do today. Perhaps they believed Hebrews were specially created? I don't know.
Next, we get a history of the descendants of Cain, and an explanation of the founding of some lifestyles, arts, and crafts. We get the father of all nomadic herders, Jabal. There's also Jubal, who is the father of harp and organ musicians (not early human inventions). Then comes Tubal-cain, who's into brass and iron. Hey folks! No Stone Age in the Bible--or at least a very short-lived one.
And then comes Lamech.
Lamech killed a young man. The Bible doesn't say why...but for some reason, Lamech believes that he will be protected, and that anyone who slays him will have vengeance visited upon him 77 times. This is another puzzle to me. If someone slays someone, how does one take vengeance more than once? Or are we talking fate worse than death here? I'd love to know what this sort of thing really meant to the ancient Hebrews.
After going through some of the descendants of Cain, whose line would have ended with the flood that comes later, we go back to Adam and Eve, who have a kid named Seth. Seth has Enos, and with Enos, humans began to...what? It says "call upon the name of the Lord," which some have interpreted as prayer, but in my theology classes and in seminars I've attended about the Bible, calling upon the name of the deity had magical implications. People could use the name to curse others and perform magic. In either case, we're talking about magic. We're either talking about using the name of a deity to perform magic, or we're talking about using this deity as a wish-granting Djinn.
Genesis 3
Genesis 3
[1] Now the serpent was more subtil than any beast of the field which the LORD God had made. And he said unto the woman, Yea, hath God said, Ye shall not eat of every tree of the garden?
[2] And the woman said unto the serpent, We may eat of the fruit of the trees of the garden:
[3] But of the fruit of the tree which is in the midst of the garden, God hath said, Ye shall not eat of it, neither shall ye touch it, lest ye die.
[4] And the serpent said unto the woman, Ye shall not surely die:
[5] For God doth know that in the day ye eat thereof, then your eyes shall be opened, and ye shall be as gods, knowing good and evil.
[6] And when the woman saw that the tree was good for food, and that it was pleasant to the eyes, and a tree to be desired to make one wise, she took of the fruit thereof, and did eat, and gave also unto her husband with her; and he did eat.
[7] And the eyes of them both were opened, and they knew that they were naked; and they sewed fig leaves together, and made themselves aprons.
[8] And they heard the voice of the LORD God walking in the garden in the cool of the day: and Adam and his wife hid themselves from the presence of the LORD God amongst the trees of the garden.
[9] And the LORD God called unto Adam, and said unto him, Where art thou?
[10] And he said, I heard thy voice in the garden, and I was afraid, because I was naked; and I hid myself.
[11] And he said, Who told thee that thou wast naked? Hast thou eaten of the tree, whereof I commanded thee that thou shouldest not eat?
[12] And the man said, The woman whom thou gavest to be with me, she gave me of the tree, and I did eat.
[13] And the LORD God said unto the woman, What is this that thou hast done? And the woman said, The serpent beguiled me, and I did eat.
[14] And the LORD God said unto the serpent, Because thou hast done this, thou art cursed above all cattle, and above every beast of the field; upon thy belly shalt thou go, and dust shalt thou eat all the days of thy life:
[15] And I will put enmity between thee and the woman, and between thy seed and her seed; it shall bruise thy head, and thou shalt bruise his heel.
[16] Unto the woman he said, I will greatly multiply thy sorrow and thy conception; in sorrow thou shalt bring forth children; and thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee.
[17] And unto Adam he said, Because thou hast hearkened unto the voice of thy wife, and hast eaten of the tree, of which I commanded thee, saying, Thou shalt not eat of it: cursed is the ground for thy sake; in sorrow shalt thou eat of it all the days of thy life;
[18] Thorns also and thistles shall it bring forth to thee; and thou shalt eat the herb of the field;
[19] In the sweat of thy face shalt thou eat bread, till thou return unto the ground; for out of it wast thou taken: for dust thou art, and unto dust shalt thou return.
[20] And Adam called his wife's name Eve; because she was the mother of all living.
[21] Unto Adam also and to his wife did the LORD God make coats of skins, and clothed them.
[22] And the LORD God said, Behold, the man is become as one of us, to know good and evil: and now, lest he put forth his hand, and take also of the tree of life, and eat, and live for ever:
[23] Therefore the LORD God sent him forth from the garden of Eden, to till the ground from whence he was taken.
[24] So he drove out the man; and he placed at the east of the garden of Eden Cherubims, and a flaming sword which turned every way, to keep the way of the tree of life.
[2] And the woman said unto the serpent, We may eat of the fruit of the trees of the garden:
[3] But of the fruit of the tree which is in the midst of the garden, God hath said, Ye shall not eat of it, neither shall ye touch it, lest ye die.
[4] And the serpent said unto the woman, Ye shall not surely die:
[5] For God doth know that in the day ye eat thereof, then your eyes shall be opened, and ye shall be as gods, knowing good and evil.
[6] And when the woman saw that the tree was good for food, and that it was pleasant to the eyes, and a tree to be desired to make one wise, she took of the fruit thereof, and did eat, and gave also unto her husband with her; and he did eat.
[7] And the eyes of them both were opened, and they knew that they were naked; and they sewed fig leaves together, and made themselves aprons.
[8] And they heard the voice of the LORD God walking in the garden in the cool of the day: and Adam and his wife hid themselves from the presence of the LORD God amongst the trees of the garden.
[9] And the LORD God called unto Adam, and said unto him, Where art thou?
[10] And he said, I heard thy voice in the garden, and I was afraid, because I was naked; and I hid myself.
[11] And he said, Who told thee that thou wast naked? Hast thou eaten of the tree, whereof I commanded thee that thou shouldest not eat?
[12] And the man said, The woman whom thou gavest to be with me, she gave me of the tree, and I did eat.
[13] And the LORD God said unto the woman, What is this that thou hast done? And the woman said, The serpent beguiled me, and I did eat.
[14] And the LORD God said unto the serpent, Because thou hast done this, thou art cursed above all cattle, and above every beast of the field; upon thy belly shalt thou go, and dust shalt thou eat all the days of thy life:
[15] And I will put enmity between thee and the woman, and between thy seed and her seed; it shall bruise thy head, and thou shalt bruise his heel.
[16] Unto the woman he said, I will greatly multiply thy sorrow and thy conception; in sorrow thou shalt bring forth children; and thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee.
[17] And unto Adam he said, Because thou hast hearkened unto the voice of thy wife, and hast eaten of the tree, of which I commanded thee, saying, Thou shalt not eat of it: cursed is the ground for thy sake; in sorrow shalt thou eat of it all the days of thy life;
[18] Thorns also and thistles shall it bring forth to thee; and thou shalt eat the herb of the field;
[19] In the sweat of thy face shalt thou eat bread, till thou return unto the ground; for out of it wast thou taken: for dust thou art, and unto dust shalt thou return.
[20] And Adam called his wife's name Eve; because she was the mother of all living.
[21] Unto Adam also and to his wife did the LORD God make coats of skins, and clothed them.
[22] And the LORD God said, Behold, the man is become as one of us, to know good and evil: and now, lest he put forth his hand, and take also of the tree of life, and eat, and live for ever:
[23] Therefore the LORD God sent him forth from the garden of Eden, to till the ground from whence he was taken.
[24] So he drove out the man; and he placed at the east of the garden of Eden Cherubims, and a flaming sword which turned every way, to keep the way of the tree of life.
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First we have a talking serpent, which is inconsistent with reality. We have no evidence of any serpent-like anything with the capability of human speech. It's the stuff of myth, clearly. Then, of course, the serpent and Eve were talking about the magical tree, the fruit of which would give humans the ability to discern good and evil--which is bad...how?
As a side note: there are a great many examples in the Bible of instance where to believe the story, you must believe in magic. This story is one of those. Magical tree, magical serpent, magical fruit. How does fruit impart knowledge? Not everyone believes in a literal interpretation of the Bible, to be sure, but some people do. Millions of people do--and this story is leading up to the fall of man, the original sin--the reason for Jesus to sacrifice himself thousands of years later, so the people who don't believe in a literal interpretation have to explain the idea of original sin.
Moving on, we basically have this serpent telling Eve (has she even been named at this point? She is only referred to as "the woman" thus far) that God lied. God lied?! Why would God deceive the humans? I also have to emphasize a point I brought up when the creation of the magical tree with the magical fruit appeared earlier: why create this tree at all, and give ready access to the humans who would "surely die" if they ate the fruit? The could not know disobedience was evil...then, there's the talking serpent who knows the truth, and God created this serpent and put him in the garden...why?
So...they eat the fruit, and suddenly, they believe that being naked is evil. They make clothes out of fig leaves because they have to cover their evil nakedness. They are man and wife, and they have no other humans around, but being naked--in front of EACH OTHER--is evil. Or is it evil to be naked in front of the animals? Or in front of God? And if it IS evil to be naked in front of God, does that make God evil, since he DOES have knowledge of good and evil, and he wanted them naked? If it was evil for them to be naked, then why didn't God have them clothed from the beginning?
Next, we have this weird scene where God asked who told them they were naked, which they shouldn't have been at this point, having made clothing out of fig leaves...and yet, Adam answered that the reason he was hiding was that he was ashamed that he was naked--NOT that he disobeyed God, mind you, but that he was naked and didn't want to be seen.
Of course, God needs to punish the people who couldn't know any better regarding the morality of eating the magical fruit off the magical tree that magically gave them knowledge of good and evil somehow.
I have to stop here for a moment. Knowledge doesn't come from food. Knowledge comes from sensory input. From a fruit, the most knowledge you can get is how it looks, feels, tastes, and smells--you can't get abstract knowledge from eating fruit. This story is just nonsensical the face of reality. Was it taken as a metaphor by the first people who believed it? I have to wonder. There are certainly people who take it literally today, and I cannot, for the life of me, understand how.
The punishments seem rather severe, but they aren't death (again, God lied): women will bring forth children "in sorrow"--the explanation for labor pains. Men shall rule over them. Really? Why does any self-respecting women believe in this book? Men will have to till the ground and generally toil for food (again, agriculture was not present when man first appeared on this planet. Agriculture came much later--only in the past 10k-15k years). Serpents can't talk anymore and must crawl on their bellies--an explanation for snakes slithering. Adam and Eve are kicked out of the garden of Eden and are given clothing made of skins. They were kicked out so they wouldn't eat from another tree that wasn't previously mentioned--the tree with fruit that would give them eternal life. Never before was this tree's fruit forbidden to eat, though.
Cherubims and a flaming sword allegedly guard the tree of life and the garden of Eden, but to this day, no one has reported finding anything of the kind. Weird.
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